


Innamorati

by tvip11



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Archer AU, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Lots and lots of AUs, highschool teacher au, mermaid au, spy AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-20 18:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10668618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tvip11/pseuds/tvip11
Summary: A collection of Dan/Val drabbles. Mainly fluff and humor.





	1. .needles and human kisses

**Author's Note:**

> If you want more just check out my tumblr: tvip11-fics

**Dark Gray Mermaid AU + A budding friendship between Sam and Val. Warnings: A little bit of language**

* * *

 

Sam almost knocked, then hesitated, and then almost knocked again. She huffed. This shouldn’t be that hard.

Valerie now was way different from the Valerie she used to know, at least, that’s what she kept telling herself as she pulled into the driveway of Valerie’s beach house.

And speaking of beach houses, _holy shit_ , Valerie’s was huge. With two stories and a crazy wrap around porch, the house contained three bathrooms, four bedrooms, a basement that Sam vaguely remembers being filled with liquor from her high school days, and a hot tub in the back that most of the football team lost their virginity in.

Sam sighed and the salty wind brushed past her and played with the end her lab coat. It’s not hard to knock. And Valerie called her, so that means she wanted her to come over. So why, why, _why-?_

Valerie swung open the door and sighed in relief. She pulled the scientist into a tight hug. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.”

When Valerie let her go, Sam took a chance to look her up and down. Valerie was still curvy and pretty and rich to boot, but with her hair in a messy bun, no makeup on her face and her outfit being composed of an old Casper High t-shirt and shorts, she almost looked…middle class.

“I didn’t think you would come,” said Valerie as she brought Sam inside. “Just, y’know, after high school and not really being…nice to you or Fenton.”

Sam readjusted the bag on her shoulder. “Well, I’m not gonna deny someone who’s in need.” Sam looked around the living room for signs of the rare gecko that Valerie said she needed to be tested. “Where is it, by the way?”

Valerie made a face. “Okay, what if, hypothetically, the gecko was not a gecko?”

Sam frowned. “Don’t tell me you called me about a dog.” Tucker had done that to her more times than she could count.

Valerie let out a funny laugh. “Well, it’s not a dog either.”

“Then what is it?”

Valerie motioned for her to follow her and Sam complied. They went up the stairs and down the hall to the bathroom at the end. Valerie placed her hand on the knob. “Alright, don’t freak out,” she warned.

Valerie swung the door open. “Holy shit,” said Sam.

“I told you _not_ to freak out!”

“Holy shit!”

In Valerie’s bathtub was a merman. And not some weirdo in a costume either, a real, live actual merman whose big ass tail hung over the rim of the tub, allowing water to drip all over the linoleum floor.

“Valerie,” he said, baritone voice going through one of Sam’s ears and out the other, “you should’ve told me were expecting guests. I would’ve put on a shirt.”

Sam gawked at him. “This has to be a dream.”

“Well, it isn’t,” said Valerie as she got down on her knees and reached behind the merman’s head to turn on the cold water. Part of his tail had grown crusty, and he was looking pale, or rather, as pale as one could with blue skin. Two clear indicators that he needed more water. “Sadly, this is one hundred percent real.”

The merman frowned, his fin beating defiantly against the tub. “Sadly? I’ll have you know that most people would be begging for something this awe-inspiring to happen to them.”

“Oh really?” Valerie stopped the water just as it reached the rim of the tub. “Well I bet sixty percent of those people would either eat you or dissect you for science in a heartbeat.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but closed it once he realized he was fighting a losing battle.

“What’s your name?” asked Sam as she gripped at the strap of her bag.

“Dan,” he said as he tilted his head slightly to avoid the water getting in his face.

“Dan,” she pondered on it for a moment. “Huh. Doesn’t sound very aquatic.”

The end of his tail flipped up in irritation. “What the hell were you expecting? Ariel?”

Sam blinked. “D-Did you show him The Little Mermaid? Of all things?”

“Hey, in my defense, he’s very annoying when he gets bored and my tablet is waterproof,” she said as she pulled back, her hand getting caught in Dan’s wet locks. They were slightly slimy, probably from the natural mucus that coated his body. It was one of the many, many, many gross things that she’d learned about his body over the past two weeks. “Also, he was very curious,” she said as she wiped her hand on her leg, not caring that it was going to be crusty later.

“And,” chimed in Dan, “I am very offended by what you idiot humans think of merpeople.”

“Well, today’s your lucky day,” said Valerie as she heaved herself up, “ ‘Cause Sam isn’t an idiot human, she’s a super awesome scientist who’s gonna help you with your tail.”

Sam gulped. “Uh, Valerie, I’ve never really worked with mermaids before.”

“Well, you were killer in Anatomy, so just combine a fish and a human and just roll with it,” said Valerie simply.

Sam frowned. “I don’t think that’s how that works.”

Dan huffed. “I don’t care what you have to do as long as you can get me out this damn tub.”

“He’s injured,” explained Valerie. As if that were his cue, Dan lifted up his tail to show off as much of his wound as he could without hurting himself. Sam was able to catch a glimpse of the chunk of missing tail, the white fat and pink muscle puffy and slightly red.  “I was hoping you could do something, like test his blood and make mermaid Neosporin or something?”

“Test my blood?” Dan flicked his fin. “That sounds like it involves something sharp.”

“It may or may not involve a needle.”

Each one of Dan’s iridescent scales shivered in a wave-like fashion before his fear finally traveled up his spine. He attempted to stuff himself into the bathtub, getting water all over the place in the process. “No. No, no, no-.”

Valerie groaned. “Good God, it’s not a fish hook!”

“If it pokes then it’s a fish hook to me!” he hissed.

Sam cast Valerie a look. “Is he afraid of needles?”

“Yes, even though he shouldn’t be because he has two rows of friggin’ razor sharp teeth!”

“My teeth and sharp objects are two different things!”

“Well, that’s the only way I can get blood,” explained Sam.

Dan crossed his arms and sunk into the bathtub, sloshing more water everywhere. At this rate, Valerie was going to be paying at least two grand a month on her water bill alone.

“Then I guess I’m never getting healed and I’ll die in this stupid bathtub,” he hissed.

Valerie sighed. “I’ll hold your hand.” Another thing Valerie discovered was that Dan was incredibly touchy. He liked to latch onto her, play with her hair, even hold her hand if she allowed it. When asked if all merpeople were like that, he simply dodged the question.

Dan’s brows jumped. “I thought you said my hands were too cold.”

“Your whole body is cold,” she said, “but if holding your hand will get you through this thing then so be it.”

Dan slipped his hand out of the water and latched onto Valerie’s. She fought the urge to shiver and pull away. “Fine,” he said, “but I want a human kiss later.”

Sam looked at Valerie for an explanation of a “human kiss”, but all she got was a soft shake of the head. “Maybe, if you’re good,” she said.

Dan nodded and turned to Sam. “Stab me.”

Sam turned toward her bag and pulling out a vial and syringe. Valerie could feel Dan’s grip tighten on her hand as he watched her clean the needle.

"Hey,” said Valerie. “Look at me.”

Dan turned to her, a bit of fear in his eye. It was weird, seeing him like this, almost childlike and pouty; so different from the haughty merman she had found stranded on the beach.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Sam was about to draw his blood. She needed to keep his attention. “Hey, wanna hear a human secret?”

The ends of his fin stood up in the air. “Secret?”

“Yeah. It’s the reason we even formed a system of government and some say it will be our downfall and destroy all of mankind.”

Dan rose a brow as Sam found his vein. “Really?” He leaned in slightly. “Tell me.”

“Barbeque sauce.”

Dan blinked. “What the fuck is barbe- Ow!” He cast Sam a dirty look as she took the blood.

“Sorry!” she said as she watched the vial fill up.

He turned back to Valerie, baring his teeth at her. “You did that on purpose.”

“Yeah, it’s called a distraction, sweetie.”

Dan death gripped her hand until Sam was done. When she finally pulled out the needle and bandaged his arm, he let go, leaving Valerie’s hand coated in slime. She wiped her hand on her pants.

“I think this should be enough,” said Sam as she filled the vial and screwed it shut. She slipped it into her bag for safe keeping. “I’ll call you if I find out anything.”

“I’m going to walk her to the door,” said Valerie. She glared at him like a mother reprimanding her children. “Do not try to leave this tub.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” he said, fingers messing with the bandage on his arm.

Valerie shut the door behind them and they went down the stairs together. “So, ‘human kiss’ ?”

Valerie groaned. “He thinks they’re special. Apparently, mermaids don’t kiss for romantic reasons, they kiss to bite each other’s tongues off.”

Sam’s nose scrunched up. “Gross.”

“He said it shows dominance.”

“Double gross.”

Valerie smiled. “I know right?”

Sam sighed wistfully as they reached the bottom step. This weird visit to Valerie’s wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be.  "I just- I can’t believe you found a mermaid. Like an actual mermaid.” She scoffed. “My coworkers are gonna flip-.”

Valerie covered Sam’s mouth with her hand. “ _No._ You are not allowed to tell anybody about this. Even Danny. Got it?”

Sam nodded and Valerie moved her hand away. “Well, I’m gonna have to tell them something when I test this blood at the lab tonight,” explained Sam.

Valerie pushed back her hair, only for her curls to fall right back into her face. “Tell them it’s a super rare fish or something. Just please don’t tell them about Dan. He’s caused me enough trouble.”

Sam nodded as she reached the door. “Alright. And hey, for the record, you really should get Dan outta that tub. Him swimming around might actually help him heal up a bit.”

“So you want me to lug his big ass down to my pool? What if my neighbors see?”

“That’s why you do it at night.” Sam reached for the handle of the front door. “And if it really is a hassle getting him out of the house, then I can help you if you really need me to.”

Valerie gawked at her. “Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s not like we’re in high school anymore,” said Sam.

Valerie almost pondered on the thought, but a crash upstairs interrupted her thoughts. Sam snickered. “I guess he’s getting impatient for his ‘human kiss’.”

“That fishy fucker,” growled Valerie as she bounded up the stairs.

Sam giggled as she closed the door. This was definitely not a regular visit.

* * *

 

_+Bonus!_

She bounded up the stairs, praying to God that Dan hadn’t broken the tub or worse.

When she opened the bathroom door, she found him in the bath, ripped shower curtain in hand and the metal bar on the ground. “I didn’t try to leave.”

Valerie placed her hands on her hips. “Then what happened?”

"My tail knocked into it,” he explained. “I was being good.”

Valerie sighed and bent down to pick up the bar. “Of course you were.”

He beat his fin against the tub. “And since I was so good, I think I deserve my human kiss now,” he said with a twinkle in his eye.

“Why do you have to call it a human kiss?” said Valerie. “Just call it a kiss.”

“Because it’s different from my kiss,” he said.

Valerie adjusted the bar as she placed it back. “Uh…”

He beat his tail again. “Just one. Please?” he begged.

“Jeez, fine.” She kneeled down beside the tub and braced her arm against the other side. “Just…don’t do anything weird.”

She leaned in close and Dan grabbed onto the back of her shirt, pulling her down toward him. He was eager; pressing his lips against hers as soon as he could reach them. His lips felt slick and cold, sending shivers down her spine. She could feel his tongue- maybe tongues? -against hers as she relaxed into the kiss.

He reached up, putting his hand in her hair like he saw humans do in the movies he’d watch on Valerie’s tablet. He liked the way her mouth felt, warm and wet. A happy sound escaped him, and he wanted more.

Valerie pulled away, her lips wet with saliva. Dan hummed and beat his fin against the tub. “I like your mouth,” he said, grinning. “Again?”

Valerie stood up, her face flushed. “Maybe later.”


	2. .orchid wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i guess i'll take prompts or w/e. just hmu on my blog and check out the faq on my asks page

**A/N: Dark Gray Highschool Teacher AU. Warning: A bit of language.**

* * *

 

Valerie figured that when she became a teacher, the worst things she would have to deal with would be the constant bickering between students or rowdy kids in the hall, but certainly not this.

“Whaddya think, Ms.G?” asked Prinny as she shoved her phone into her teacher’s face. On the screen was a beautiful beach house obviously meant for a couple’s getaway, complete with roses on the king sized bed and candles all over the nightstands.

Prinny tossed her brown curls over her shoulder and flashed a wicked smile. “Perfect for you and Mr. Masters for a mini vacay, right?”

Valerie groaned at the sound of his name. Dan Masters, the adopted son of the billionaire Vlad Masters, was the sarcastic and asshole-ish history teacher down the hall. He struck fear into most of the male student body and teachers with his cold gaze while enchanting the females (save Valerie and Sam Manson) with his good looks. He was occasionally nice to her, buying her coffee or signing her in when she was just a few minutes late.

Apparently, to the kids, that meant they were most certainly, without a doubt, dating.

Valerie glared at her. “Prinny, go sit down.”

“Oh come on, Ms. G,” whined Prinny. “Don’t you and Mr. Masters do anything romantic for each other?”

“Oh! He could buy you a wall of orchids like Kanye did for Kim! It was _so_ romantic!” chimed in Bethany.

A wave yeahs echoed throughout the classroom. Valerie huffed. “Guys, for the last time-.”

“Hey, Ms. G,” shouted Trey from the back. “Instead of working on this stupid essay can we come up with baby names for you guy’s kid? Best one gets five extra credit points.”

“Lemme go first,” said Jordan. “Adrian. Works for boys and girls!”

“Jaxon,” said Megan without looking up from her paper.

“Paris, like my baby sister,” said Hampton.

“I say Rebecca if it’s a girl,” said Jazlyn. “Monty if it’s a boy.”

Luther turned around. “Who the fuck names their baby Monty?”

“Hey! All of you, hush!” hissed Valerie. The excitement in the room died down a bit. “A, I’m not pregnant, and B, even if I was, I would never, ever, have a baby with Mr. Masters.”

“Ms. Gray, you wound me,” said a baritone voice from the doorway. Valerie inwardly cringed as she turned to face the cause of her troubles.

Dan Masters leaned against her doorframe, coffee mug in hand and papers tucked underneath his arm. “I don’t think our child would be that ugly,” he said with a smirk as he waltzed into her classroom.

The students, afraid they’d ruin the moment, kept their mouths shut as they watched the scene unfold.

“Mr. Masters, I’m sure our hypothetical child would be incredibly cute as all babies are-.”

His nose wrinkled. “Have you seen Foley’s baby pictures?”

“-but you _are_ interrupting my class.”

“With a good reason.” Dan removed the papers from underneath his arm and placed them on her desk. “You know that field trip to the Shelly Opera House that you were trying to plan?”

Valerie squinted her eyes. “Yeah? Why?”

“It’s covered. All of it. I even got the date you wanted.”

Valerie looked down at the papers, reading the word Hamlet in big, bold letters. She scanned the page a bit more, realizing that he’d even managed to get the kids free admission and a time to talk with the actors after the play was over.

Valerie gawked at him. “Are you serious?”

Dan sipped his coffee. “Very.”

Valerie jumped up. “Holy crap, I can’t believe this! I’ve been trying to get this going for months! How did you manage this?”

“I know some people, who know some people, who know a person, who knows the owner of the Shelly Opera House.” He pretended to think for a minute. “Also money.”

Valerie pulled him into the hug, surprising both her students and Dan. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is gonna be perfect since we start Hamlet next week!”

Dan prayed that his blush wasn’t visible to the kids. “You’re welcome, Ms. Gray.”

Valerie pulled away, still beaming at Dan until-.

“Psst. Ms. Gray,” stage whispered Trey.

Valerie sighed and turned her attention back to her students, who were all giddy and gossiping amongst themselves. “Yes, Trey?”

“I think this is romantic gift from Masters,” he stage whispered. “You should give him a blow-.”

“Office. Now,” Valerie hissed. A chorus of Oh’s filled the class.

Trey jumped. “Aw what?! I was trying help Masters!”

“No you weren’t because I’m leaving,” said Dan as he walked out the classroom.

“Bye, Mr. Masters,” said most of the girls in unison.

As Valerie wrote Trey’s pass, she couldn’t help but wonder why he did that for her? Of all people?

As much she hated to admit it, Trey might have been right. Maybe this was his “orchid wall”.


	3. .the honeymooners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based off of archer season 4, ep 9. may or may not get a part 2

**A Dark Gray spy AU inspired by Archer, which I’ve been binge watching all weekend because I love baby AJ. Based off the opening scene of  The Honeymooners, where Lana and Archer go undercover as a newlywed couple.**

**Warning: Language**

* * *

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“My job, Valerie.”

“And what part of your job involves groping my ass?” she hissed.

“The espionage part,” said Dan simply.

“ _Let._ _Go._ ” she hissed.

Dan sighed but complied. Valerie straightened the part of her stupid, frumpy wedding dress that Dan had crumpled with his hand. “Fine, Valerie, be that way.  But I swear if North Korea declares war on us all because you decided to blow our cover-.”

“How is my ass helping us keep cover?”

He looked back. “By being-.”

“Chose your dying words carefully.”

“…conservatively voluptuous?”

Valerie crumpled the dossier in her hand. “I am going to-.”

“Look, Val, I’m not trying to piss you off on purpose-.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Okay, I am, but just a little. Now come on,” he said, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close, “we’re supposed to be love drunk newlyweds so the North Koreans don’t suspect us while we try to stop them from buying a shit ton of nuclear codes from a CIA rouge.”

Dan booped her nose. “So get ready for the longest weekend of your life,” he said with a dark chuckle.

Valerie huffed. “Horatio better give me a bonus for this shit.”

“Hell, me too.”

The blonde receptionist returned to the front desk. “Here’s your key for the Honeymoon suite,” she said. “And once again, congratulations Mr.-“

Valerie cringed. “No, no, no.”

“-and Mrs.-“

“No, no, no.”

“-Masters.”

Valerie slumped onto the desk. “Dear God,  please let me get shot in the head.”

“Hey, don’t say that. I don’t want a dead fake wife.”

Valerie glared at him. “What?! Would _you_ spoon a corpse?” he asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Horatio is Clockwork's human name fyi


	4. .garden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you have trouble visualizing the temples just hit that comment button and i'll help you out

**A very shitty (imo) Dan/Val Gods AU feat. Meddling Paulina and Sam.**

* * *

 

Valerie crushed the goblet in her hand, rage seeping through her eyes and threatening to kill anyone in their path. “I _will_ kill him.”

Sam eyed her from across the room, absentmindedly wrapping vines of ivy around her wrist. “You won’t.”  
  
“Yes, I will.” The Goddess of Justice stood up, crisp, white robes fluttering around her ankles. “I will murder him and force him to pass through his own domain like a mortal.”  
  
Sam rose a brow. “You realize that Jazz will kill you if you do that, right?” The Goddess of Wisdom had always been quite protective of him, even if he was only part of her brother’s original soul.   
  
“I don’t care.” Valerie began to pace back and forth in the small garden house. “As long as Phantom dies, I’m fine with whatever she does to me.”  
  
Paulina, who was busy paying attention to her own reflection in her mirror, pouted and sat up on the couch. “Wait, is Phantom really dying?” She let out a sigh. “That sucks. I never even got to see him naked.”  
  
Sam let out a sound of disgust. “ _Paulina._ ”

“What?” She glared at the pale-skinned woman. “Don’t try and tell me you haven’t thought about it.”

Paulina tilted her head to the side, inky black hair falling past her shoulders in perfect curls. “Val, if you’re going to kill him can you at least let me look ‘im over one last time.”   
  
“Nobody’s killing anybody,” hissed Sam. “Valerie, if you just talk to him I’m sure he’d-.”  
  
“No.”  
  
Sam let out a heavy sigh, the ivy around her wrist drooping with stress. “Then what _do_ you want? It’s not like he knows that you’re bent out of shape over this.”  
  
“He messed with my temple,” Valerie hissed, “My _sanctuary_. He should at least give me an apology.”  
  
“Then tell him you’re mad!”  
  
“And go near that thing he calls a temple?” Valerie rolled her eyes. “As if.”  
  
Sam sighed and drained the life from the ivy. “Fine. If you’re too stubborn to take care of it, then I’ll do it myself.”  
  
Valerie stopped. “What in the hell is that supposed to mean?”  
  
“Exactly what I said.”

* * *

  
“You didn’t have to come with me,” said Sam.  
  
“I know,” said Paulina, way too giddy for someone that was currently walking into the underworld. “I’ve never been down here before.” The Goddess of Beauty looked around, taking note of the cave-like walls and chill air. “But, now that I’m here…this is kinda… _grungy_.”  
  
“No shit, he lives in the Underworld,” hissed Sam as they descended down the stairs.   
  
Back when the Earth was first created, Dan had not existed. The Original Gods had never planned to have a God of Destruction or two Gods to reign over the night.   
  
Dan wasn’t created until one fateful night when the God of Vengeance tried to steal the son of the King and Queen of the Heavens. The baby’s spirit was split in two, resulting in Dan and his counterpart, Danny. Dan was cursed to stay in the Underworld while Danny stayed in the Heavens.  
  
Ever since then, Dan had remained reclusive and cold to all the other Gods, even his own parents. The only people he was even seen talking to were the God of Time, Clockwork, and the Goddess of Wisdom, his older sister.   
  
The pair finally reached the tall entrance doors. Solid marble hid things that two of them had never seen before. Their imaginations were the only things they could use to visualize the rumored horrors that Phantom kept locked away from the other Gods.   
  
Sam took a deep breath. “Are you ready?” Paulina nodded.   
  
Sam pushed the door open and paused. “ _Oh_.” She blinked. “Holy shit.”  
  
Paulina gawked. “ _This_ is Phantom’s place?”  
  
The two looked around the temple, amazed by how elegant and beautiful it was. The first floor was circular, with windows on almost every wall so one could gaze out at the stormy ocean that encompassed the room. Tall columns accented with gold brushed against the painted ceilings. Two sets of stairs flanked the throne in the middle, which was surrounded by trinkets and treasures thrown out by humanity.   
  
Dan entered the room, hair flickering around his face and past his shoulders. Undead servants trailed behind him, arms full of scrolls and maps.   
  
He looked at the pair in surprise. “Samantha? Paulina?” He sent his servants away with a flick of his wrist. “What are you two doing here?”  
  
“It’s Sam,” corrected the Goddess. She nudged Paulina and the two of them bowed. “God of Destruction and keeper of the moon, we have come to ask a favor of you.”  
  
Dan raised a brow. “A favor? I don’t do those.”  
  
Sam rose and frowned. “It’s very important. If you would just listen-.”  
  
Dan waved his hand and turned away. “If it involves your petty matters in the Heavens then don’t throw me in the mix. I mind my business and will continue to do so.”  
  
“But you minding your business is what brought us here,” stressed Sam. “Please, you just-.”  
  
“It’s concerning Valerie,” chimed in Paulina using her sickeningly sweet voice. As Dan turned around, she jutted out her bottom lip. “She has been very upset lately because of what you did.”  
  
Whether it was because if Paulina’s devilish tricks or the mention of Valerie, Sam would never know, but Dan’s blue face began to tinge with blush. “Something I did?” he asked. He stepped closer toward the women and they realized how tall, how foreboding, he was. “What did I do to upset her?”  
  
“Her garden,” explained Sam, “Your tides ruined her garden a few days ago. It was a gift from her human father.”  
  
Dan made a strange face. “Gift from her human father?”  
  
“Yeah,” said Paulina, “Not all of us were born in the Heavens, y'know.”  
  
Dan weighed this new information in his head. “Then tell her I’m sorry,” he said after a moment of thought.  
  
Sam frowned. "That’s it?”  
  
Dan quirked a brow. “Very sorry?”  
  
Part of Sam wanted to strangle him, to break the windows and flood the place as she wrapped goopy seaweed around his neck and choked him to death. It was a sentimental gift for crying out loud! And with Valerie’s father long gone and the centuries passing faster than the seconds, there was no way that she or Valerie could replicate the garden. Flora got lost and evolved over time just like empires.   
  
But the other part of Sam was then one that huffed and bowed. She knew there was no way Dan would understand; all those years of being trapped down here probably ruined his emotional development and fucked with his logic. She accepted this, because this was probably as good as it’d get.   
  
“Thank you, Phantom,” said Sam. “I’m sure Valerie will be happy to hear this.”  
  
He nodded and the two Goddess left without a word.

* * *

“We can’t tell Valerie that,” said Sam as she plopped down on Paulina’s mountain of pillows.

Paulina lived on a piece of a cumulus cloud; her temple composed of cotton-like matter and rays of sunshine. She has decorated most of it with diamonds, roses and whatever else her devotees left at her altar. It was the most beautiful temple around, which was quite fitting for the Goddess of Beauty.

Paulina floated down on her favorite cloud and pulled out a brush. “You’re right,” she said as she brushed her curls, “Maybe we can work out something with Clockwork and get him to reverse this whole week.”  
  
Sam shook her head as she stared up the night sky. The stars twinkled brightly, something Danny often did. He liked for the constellations to be visible and for the stars to be as bright as the moon when he placed them in the sky.   
  
Sam sighed. “We just need to think of something-.”  
  
Suddenly, they heard a loud boom that bounced off the sky and echoed through the stars.   
  
Someone was flying.  
  
Flight was an ability that Gods only used in emergencies. It was draining, using up all your energy and strength. Too much flight could kill a God, so why was-.  
  
They flew past Paulina’s cloud, fluttering both of their hair. “Who in the-?”  
  
Petals.   
  
They scattered across the sky in a flurry of colors, drifting down like winter snow. Paulina caught one in her hand. “You don’t think-?”  
  
The two women looked at each other and gasped. “Shit! Phantom!”  
  
The two of them chased after him, panic setting in. They descended the stairs and watched helplessly as he flew toward Valerie’s temple. Sam huffed, “You don’t think he’s doing what I think he’s doing, right?”  
  
“That bastard is crazy!” said Paulina as she rushed up the steps. “Of course he is!”  
  
Out of breath and surely too late, they finally reached Valerie’s temple: two adjacent valleys that her temple covered and often shifted with when the tectonic plates moved. The building, made of marble and gold, stood proudly on the surface. Outside on her balcony stood Phantom, bundles of flowers in his arms, talking to Valerie.  
  
Sam and Paulina hid at the landing of the stairs behind a few bushes, listening in on their conversation  
  
“I mean it,” Dan said, pushing the flowers toward her. “So here, these should be enough for you to start a new garden.”  
  
Instead of taking all of them, Valerie plucked one flower from the pile and placed it in her hair. “Why?”  
  
He frowned. “Why? Your friends barged into my temple, telling me that I upset you. I assumed this would up for it.”  
  
“But why? We’ve never talked before and we’re definitely not friends-.”  
  
“Rude,” noted Dan.  
  
“-so why do you even care that I was upset?”  
  
“Because…” Dan trailed off, feeling his face- his whole body really -grow warm.   
  
Valerie sighed, noticing his lack of speech but not knowing the real reason behind it, and decided not to push the issue any further. She took the bundles of flowers from his arms. “Thank you.”  
  
“…you’re welcome.”  
  
Dan turned to leave, glad to finally be through with the whole ordeal, but Valerie stopped him. “Don’t you feel weak?” she asked, grabbing his hand.  
  
Dan turned slightly, hoping to avoid showing her his blushing face. “W-What?”  
  
“You flew here from the Underworld. You’re not gonna be able to make it back down even if you use the stairs.” She pulled him close. “Stay the night. I’ll have the servants prepare a room for you and everything.”  
  
Paulina and Sam gawked at their friend. “She can’t be serious?!” whispered Sam furiously. “That’ll ruin her standing with the other Gods!”  
  
“Shh!” hissed Paulina, “They’re talking again.”  
  
“I insist,” said Valerie, tugging on his sleeve.   
  
“If someone caught me here-.”  
  
“Who cares?”  
  
“You should,” said Dan, brow furrowed.   
  
“Well, us Kuano Gods don’t care about that type of stuff like you Originals do.” Valerie casted a wicked look toward the stairs. “Isn’t that right, _ladies_?”  
  
Sam let out a squeak as she turned pale. Paulina on the other hand-.  
  
“Yeah!” she shouted, glad to be free from her hiding spot. “Go inside Phantom!”  
  
Dan scoffed at Valerie’s friends. “Fine, I’ll stay for the night,” he told her before walking inside. Valerie smiled and followed him inside, observing the flowers as she did so.   
  
The Goddess of Beauty pumped her fists in the air. “Yay! Just don’t do anything I would do, Val!”  
  
“ _Paulina!_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuano Gods are Gods that were humans. Sam, Paulina, and Val are Kuano Gods, which means that when they died they became Gods. Dan, Danny, Clockwork and Jazz are Originals, meaning they’ve been Gods since day 1.


End file.
